Week 23: Deep and Meaningful Life Lessons from Indonesia

This week I have found myself wondering where all the time went. On Friday my sisters and Dan arrive and the four of us are heading to Bali for 10 days before flying back to the UK. As you can imagine I am enormously excited about seeing them (in fact I probably haven't been this excited since Christmas Eve circa 1992) but the prospect also makes me a little sad. Bali is very different to Java (culturally, religiously, culinarily, climatologically etc) which means that this is the end of my Indonesian experience as I know it.

This sense of finality has prompted me to reflect on what I have gained from this experience. It is, of course, traditional to return from your 'gap' year waxing lyrical about how you have found yourself whilst espousing the virtues of communism/veganism/ Theravada Buddhism or similar. I cannot claim to have had any such epiphany and I am afraid to report that I will be returning home much the same as I left it. However, I have made some important discoveries which I would like to take this opportunity to share with you.

In no particular order:

1. Almost anything can be deep fried
2. Overnight public transportation is always a BAD IDEA
3.Gillian McKeith and her ilk can just pipe down because Western culture isn't nearly as unhealthy as everyone makes it out to be
4. In some cultures it is socially acceptible to sleep in the middle of the day. Indeed, there are public spaces designed for this very purpose. I like this.
5. At the risk of sounding like a bore, health and safety regulations are both necessary and important
6. If there's one thing that will make you feel more ridiculous than an aerobics class, it's an aerobics class in a foreign language in which you are a foot taller than all the other participants
7. I don't care what anyone says, chocolate and cheese is a bad combination. Chocolate, cheese and jelly is an even worse combination. Trust me.
8. The importance of road maintenance should not be underestimated
9. For a large proportion of the world's population, England is synonymous with Man United and David Beckham
10. Yoga doesn't have to be a serious activity
11. The climb down is often harder than the climb up
12. Comfort is a relative concept
13. Your tolerance threshhold can change over time
14. Not having any personal space can feel as oppressive as being deprived of oxygen
15. Sexual harassment laws exist for a reason
16. English is a complicated, contrary language. Bahasa Indonesian is so much simpler. I love how they repeat words to express plurals or to emphasise magnitude or degree (i.e. anak (child) becomes anak-anak (children); enak (nice tasting) can be elevated to enak-enak (delicious).
17.Some people like to spoon suger into their tea using a tablespoon (see #3)
18.Chicken porridge is a surprisingly palatable dish
19.There are some things you never get used to, such as being stared at wherever you go
20. You should never go snorkelling without first applying sun-cream
21. Everything tastes better with sambal
22. Different sense of humour can be the biggest barrier to cultural integration. There is nothing more alienating than not getting the joke
23. In Asia I have a remarkably big nose
24. At home we are enormously reliant on implicit communication - hints and non-verbal signals - which are the first to get lost in translation.
25. I'm not nearly as laid back as I thought I was
26. There is such a thing as being too laid back (see #25)
27. Nobody can queue quite like the British and nothing irritates a British person quite like a flagrant violation of queuing etiquette, no matter where they are in the world
28. The smoking ban is a wonderful thing
29. Some things really are as beautiful as they look in the nature documentaries
30. In Indonesia it is expected that you will pay for everyone at your birthday dinner. This strikes me as extraordinarily unfair
31. There is always a 'bule' price
32. There is such a thing as too much leisure time
33. Sometimes doing nothing can be exactly what you need
34. Being the tallest person around is no fun
35. In some countries traffic laws are seen as, er, open to interpretation.